We all know self-confidence shows up in our presence and presentations, but did you know that you can prime yourself to feel more confident?

superman confidence

Photo: CC Gareth Simpson, S is for Superman http://ht.ly/evkZ30jMiO2

A fascinating social experiment was presented on an episode of Brain Games (National Geographic channel), featuring a research study where twins were being interviewed by college students for jobs. Identical twins were used to control for appearance-related bias, and the twins had similar academic experiences. One twin was asked three “positive” questions where the focus was on success or accomplishments, while the other was asked three “negative” questions that highlighted struggles or failures. Those who were able to focus on the positive got a job offer a whopping 80% of the time, while those who were given negative questions never got a job offer. It was fascinating (and a little heartbreaking) to see those twins visibly lose self-confidence as they related one sad story after another focused on failure. They were literally primed to fail. Their siblings, on the other hand, were primed to succeed. Their self-confidence grew throughout the interview, and of course, potential employers would respond positively to that.

What does this mean to you?
Well, think about the stories you tell yourself before a challenging meeting or presentation. Does the little voice in your head sound like this?

  • I’m so nervous and just want this to be over…
  • They’ll never go for this. Why are we even trying…
  • I don’t know why I’m even at this meeting. Surely they’ll see I’m not qualified…
  • The last time I had to do this was awful, and I’m sure this time will be no better…

These negative thoughts will absolutely rob you of your self-confidence. Prime yourself for success using these positive, self-confidence hacks:

1. Sit or stand up straighter, hold your head high, square your shoulders, and inhale deeply before and/or during the meeting. Your body will signal “confidence” and “readiness” to your brain.
2. Say something positive to yourself, such as:

  • I feel prepared and ready – bring it!
  • I’ve learned so much since the last time, and I know how to handle myself…
  • They invited me because they need me, and I’m here to add value…
  • A little nervousness isn’t a bad thing, and it can give me an extra dash of energy…

3. Engage your own cheerleading squad – watch this video and see why it works!

Of course, for the hacks to work you have to do your prep, but the powerful combination of preparation and positive attitude is a recipe for success.

A very wise coach once said to me: “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re probably right.”